Tommy’s First Confession
Every Sunday, young Tommy accompanied his sweet grandmother to church. When the time came for his first confession, she lovingly explained the tradition.
“You’ll go into a small room, talk to the priest, and tell him the wrong things you’ve done,” she said gently. “He’ll listen and forgive you.”
Tommy, a bit anxious but curious, agreed. He stepped into the confessional booth, the curtain rustling closed behind him. As he sat down, the wooden screen slid open to reveal the kindly face of the priest.
With a nervous whisper, Tommy began: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
The priest gave a warm, encouraging nod. “I’m listening, my child. Go ahead.”
Tommy took a deep breath. “I took a pencil from school… I said a bad word… and I lied to my mom.”
The priest listened, his expression calm. “Those are small things. Is there anything else you’d like to share?”
Tommy paused thoughtfully. “Oh yeah! I threw my sister’s Barbie out the window and told her it ran away.”
The priest smiled and chuckled softly. “Anything more?”
Tommy thought for a moment. “Oh! And I put toothpaste on Grandpa’s teeth while he was sleeping.”
Trying not to laugh, the priest replied, “Alright. Say three Hail Marys and try your best to do better, okay?”
Tommy nodded proudly, feeling relieved and accomplished.
As he came out of the booth, his grandma greeted him with a smile. “So, how did it go?”
With a huge grin, Tommy said, “Easy peasy, Grandma… but I don’t think that guy behind the screen even knows the half of it!”
A Brave Bargain for a Bike
A young boy had his heart set on getting a brand-new bike. But when he asked his mom, she gently told him they couldn’t afford one right now. “Maybe if you write a letter to Jesus and promise to be a good boy, He might help,” she suggested.
The boy eagerly grabbed some paper and started writing. “Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for an entire year…” But he paused, then scratched it out. That felt too hard.
He tried again. “Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for one month.” Still too long. So he crossed that out too.
Eventually, he wrote, “Dear Jesus, I promise to be good for a week.” He frowned, feeling doubtful again. Frustrated, he ripped the letter to pieces and went for a walk.
As he passed the church nearby, he spotted the nativity scene set up outside. Suddenly, inspiration struck. He quickly looked around, then snatched the small statue of Mary, tucked it under his jacket, and rushed back home.
Once safe inside, he grabbed a fresh sheet of paper and wrote a very different kind of letter:
“Dear Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again…”
Wedding Arithmetic
At his very first wedding, a young boy watched the ceremony with fascination. After it ended, his older cousin decided to quiz him.
“So, how many women do you think a man is allowed to marry?” he asked.
Without missing a beat, the boy said, “Sixteen.”
His cousin blinked in surprise. “Sixteen? Where did you get that number?”
The boy shrugged like it was obvious. “Easy. The preacher said it during the vows: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer!”
Let me know if you’d like these tailored for a specific audience or format (e.g., bedtime stories, newsletter humor, stand-up style).